“It’s okay to fail.” We like to say that where I work. I’ve also seen that said here and there on social media. To say it’s okay to make mistakes seems to make sense. But I have to confess, I’m not sure I find it acceptable to bomb.
To be honest, I don’t know that I like the idea of floundering at all. Healthy or not, I lean heavily towards perfectionism, so this notion of acceptable messes does not come easily to me. It certainly does not bring me the same joy I feel when I reach a goal. And I don’t see anyone being rewarded for failing – so how can it be okay?
I think we need to start with the illusion of perfection. It’s a fantasy to believe anyone (aside from Jesus Christ) is, or ever was able to avoid failure. Like it or not, every one of us falls short. (Romans 3:23) We do it often – sometimes in great and disastrous ways.
As for me, I think I could compete with Paul to claim “chief sinner.” (1 Timothy 1:5) There have been so many awful decisions. So many wrong turns and bad outcomes. Sadly, it would be a long and shameful list if I wrote out every failure from my past. I’m not exaggerating, just stating a fact. My past is ugly.
When I became a Christian, I knew I was forgiven for all of it. I understood grace as a concept, but, still struggled with the facts of my life. I wasn’t really free from my past because there is a difference between what we understand as truth, and what we know in the depth our souls.
Thankfully, though, while failures are part of my life, they no longer define me. I am convinced that Jesus’s death on the cross moved every sin and failure far away from me. (Psalm 103:12) Because of his willingness to pay a debt I could not, I am freed from the consequence of my sin, my failures no longer keep me in bondage.
So, you might be wondering how I got here. What specific steps drove me to this incredible place of freedom? Easy… I read God’s word. But I didn’t just read it, I believed it. You see, the moment I became a Christian I believed God’s word was true. Now, understand, that belief did not immediately change my thinking about my past. I still struggled. I read, but I didn’t believe it was true for me.
One day, while reading scriptures about how God sets us free from our past. (Galatians 5:1) I understood what the words meant. But at that moment I was confronted with this: If I believe God’s word is true, then why do I not believe it’s true for me? If God says I am forgiven and my past is no longer remembered, then it has to be true. (Isaiah 43:25)
I could no longer hold my past over my own head. Whether I felt it was true or not, I had to believe. I chose to believe and it changed everything… except my past. What I mean is that knowing God and believing he sets us free from our sins, does not erase what happened. I don’t forget my past and neither does anyone else who knew me back then. What it does is filter everything through the lens of the cross. This is mercy, plain and simple. (1 John 1:9)
Knowing mercy like this, I am free from the fear of failing. And, I will fall down again. Not by choice, but by nature. As a human, it’s in my DNA. I will mess up, and I will expect God to forgive as he has promised. (Matthew 6:14-15) And this is the promise for every believer.
We are going to fail and it’s okay. And if we have already failed, our past is reconciled through Jesus. Choose to believe that God’s promises are yours and you will find a peace that is beyond what you can reason. (Philippians 4:7)
Author, speaker, and mentor using life experiences to help women identify and pursue their God-given purpose and identity.